Religion, Life, Death, and Harry Kalas

When news of Harry Kalas’ death broke, my immediate reactions were surprise and sadness. But then I quickly thought, I could write a great obituary about Kalas, and that is something to be celebrated, not lamented. “I could write a great obituary about him” is the ultimate compliment; it indicates a life well lived.

Then I thought about people in my life that I could say the same thing about. I find that comforting. Hey, we’re all going to bite the dust someday; might as well learn to deal with it. No one is promised anything in this world, and anyone who lived 73 years, did what he loved for decades, got married, and raised three sons is one of the lucky ones.

The thing is, Kalas died, but he’s not really dead. His voice will live on for generations in NFL Films and Philadelphia Phillies highlights. But you don’t have to be famous to live on. Even if I were unaware of Kalas’ existence, his wife, sons, and the rest of his friends and family will remember him, and they will tell stories about Harry to future generations. More importantly, if Kalas was a good dad, that is his real legacy, not his work. If Kalas was a good dad, then his sons will be good dads too, and so on. To me, regardless of your religion, that is the only afterlife you can truly count on.

Someone once asked me why I would do good things if I don’t believe in Heaven. When you think about it, that is the most self-centered reason to do the right thing imaginable. People don’t have to fear the wrath of God to do the right thing. And if you’re a complete narcissist, here’s what’s in it for you: When you’re a good person, good things happen to you. The phrase “nice guys finish last” is poppycock. When you’re a good person, other people are drawn to you, and when other people love you and would do anything for you, there’s no better feeling in the world. Nice guys make more money too; no one wants to work with a jackass. Bernie Madoff eventually got his comeuppance.

Your kids don’t really learn right from wrong in The Bible, the Qur’an, or any other religious book. They learn it by watching you.

Whatever your religion is, I have no interest in debating its merits. In my book, if you treat people as you would like to be treated – yep, an agnostic is referencing The Golden Rule – then you’re a good person. If your religion works for you, awesome; I’m happy that you’re happy. However, fear of death is the wrong reason to buy into any faith.

As an agnostic, while I don’t dismiss the idea of a greater power of some sort, I have to assume there is no afterlife. All I know for sure is I’ve been given a life, and however long that life lasts, I have opportunities to love, be loved, and be remembered as a good guy. Even if it’s all over for me personally when I die, that is more than enough for me.

When we look at obituaries, we often focus on the dates of birth and death, because those numbers remind us of our own mortality. But instead of focusing on the scary part of Kalas’ 1936-2009, we should focus on all the incredible things he accomplished, and most of all, the lives he touched and helped create. This will probably sound corny, but I don’t care: Life isn’t perfect and it’s often unfair, but love makes it all worthwhile to me -- that, and a good obituary. Just make sure mine isn’t written by a hack.

Don’t fear death; embrace life.

And with that, I’ll leave you with some of my favorite quotes from Carlos Castaneda’s don Juan series of books.

"Think of your death now," don Juan said suddenly. "It is at arm's length. It may tap you at any moment, so really you have no time for crappy thoughts and moods. None of us have time for that."

“Acts have power. Especially when the person acting knows that those acts are his last battle. There is a strange consuming happiness in acting with the full knowledge that whatever one is doing may very well be one's last act on earth. I recommend that you reconsider your life and bring your acts into that light.

“You don't have time, my friend. That is the misfortune of human beings. None of us have sufficient time. Your acts cannot possibly have the flair, the power, the compelling force of the acts performed by a man who knows that he is fighting his last battle on earth.”

Comedy Central can suck my licorice stick

According to TVSeriesFinale.com, we've seen the last episode of Chocolate News, and as you can tell, I'm pissed.

Unless Comedy Central is slashing its budget, the move makes little sense given the show's respectable ratings. The 2.2 million that watched the premiere surpassed the brilliant Colbert Report's debut by about a million. Why Comedy Central would cancel Chocolate News after a mere 10 episodes is beyond me. What was it expecting? Instant smash hits like South Park and Chappelle's Show are few and far between.

David Alan Grier's over-the-top, in-your-face style isn't for everyone. Occasionally, I find it a bit overbearing as well. Admittedly, I didn't think Chocolate News was as good as Chappelle's Show, the show it's most often compared to, but there was enough goodness there to warrant a spot on my coveted DVR schedule. Sure, there was a healthy amount of sophomoric humor, but there was plenty of intelligent satire as well.

Who knows what Chocolate News could have become if given a chance? I'll never understand why TV people think spending lots of time, money, and effort developing a show and then canceling it after six or 10 episodes is a good business model. Seinfeld struggled in the ratings initially, but someone at NBC decided the show was funny and deserved the benefit of the doubt. What if NBC canceled it after 10 episodes? It would have cost itself enormous amounts of money and forever changed the course of comedy history.

DAG is one of the most under-appreciated talents of the past 20 years, and the saddest part is it appeared he finally found a forum to best showcase his considerable abilities. He can do just about any voice imaginable, he has done stand-up, he can sing and dance a little bit, and unlike many comedians, I found him equally if not more funny off-the-cuff than scripted.

I'm not saying Chocolate News was going to be as influential as Seinfeld, but in a crowded TV landscape where, not one, but two guys who were in celebrity sex tapes (Bret Michaels and Ray J) have their own reality dating shows, there should be plenty of room for Chocolate News. Unfortunately, I'm afraid the show's cancellation is yet another sad commentary on how dumb most of our popular culture is becoming.

PARKS AND RECREATION off to a solid start

Pilots are always tricky: You get 22 minutes to introduce the main characters, premise, and squeeze in enough laughs to keep the audience coming back for more. To me, Parks and Rec's pilot succeeded on all three levels.

But before I start praising the show, let me get my one concern out of the way. While The Office is one of my favorite shows ever, Parks and Rec might be too similar. The tone is nearly identical, and it's shot and presented in the exact same mockumentary style. It's inevitable, and also slightly unfair, that Parks and Rec, with one episode in the books, will be compared to a highly popular show in its fifth season. I hope Parks and Rec is given a fair chance and not overly burdened by the comparisons. Great shows rarely hit their peak immediately.

Having said that, Parks and Rec will ultimately resonate with viewers if the characters are as hilariously quirky, varied, and likable as those on The Office. (See, I told ya the comparisons were inevitable.) So far, so good. Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) is a naive do-gooder who, like The Office's Michael Scott (Steve Carell), thinks her job makes her a much bigger deal than she actually is. Poehler nails the character in the pilot, and it will be interesting to see how she develops one character over time instead of playing multiple roles on Saturday Night Live.

The rest of the cast had a promising start too. Scrubs fans will recognize Aziz Ansari from his brief stint as the charismatic, lazy intern who drew Dr. Cox's ire and ultimately couldn't make it as a doctor. Ansari plays a similar character in Parks and Rec, and his carefree attitude and blatant come-on to Ann Perkins (Rashida Jones) during a committee meeting is an effective contrast to Leslie's more serious approach. Leslie's Bobby Knight-worshipping boss (Nick Offerman) and Ann's temporarily disabled boyfriend (Chris Pratt) also made me chuckle.

Along with giving me some good laughs, the pilot set up the season's primary arc, gave us a peek at each character's world, and teased possible romantic intrigue between Leslie and Mark Brendanawicz (Paul Schneider); no small feat in 22 minutes.

Another big plus in Parks and Rec's favor: Greg Daniels. He and Michael Schur created the show, and Daniels has about as impressive of a comedic resume as anyone. Along with being one of The Office's creators and head writers, Daniels co-created King of the Hill with Mike Judge, co-wrote "The Parking Space" episode of Seinfeld with Larry David, was a writer on Saturday Night Live from 1987 to 1990, and got writing credits on some of the greatest Simpsons episodes ever, including "Homer Badman" and "22 Short Films About Springfield".

While it's far too early to proclaim Parks and Rec a hit, the pilot was certainly auspicious enough to give it a shot. If you missed the pilot, check out NBC.com or tune in next Thursday night for episode No. 2.