Religion, Life, Death, and Harry Kalas

When news of Harry Kalas’ death broke, my immediate reactions were surprise and sadness. But then I quickly thought, I could write a great obituary about Kalas, and that is something to be celebrated, not lamented. “I could write a great obituary about him” is the ultimate compliment; it indicates a life well lived.

Then I thought about people in my life that I could say the same thing about. I find that comforting. Hey, we’re all going to bite the dust someday; might as well learn to deal with it. No one is promised anything in this world, and anyone who lived 73 years, did what he loved for decades, got married, and raised three sons is one of the lucky ones.

The thing is, Kalas died, but he’s not really dead. His voice will live on for generations in NFL Films and Philadelphia Phillies highlights. But you don’t have to be famous to live on. Even if I were unaware of Kalas’ existence, his wife, sons, and the rest of his friends and family will remember him, and they will tell stories about Harry to future generations. More importantly, if Kalas was a good dad, that is his real legacy, not his work. If Kalas was a good dad, then his sons will be good dads too, and so on. To me, regardless of your religion, that is the only afterlife you can truly count on.

Someone once asked me why I would do good things if I don’t believe in Heaven. When you think about it, that is the most self-centered reason to do the right thing imaginable. People don’t have to fear the wrath of God to do the right thing. And if you’re a complete narcissist, here’s what’s in it for you: When you’re a good person, good things happen to you. The phrase “nice guys finish last” is poppycock. When you’re a good person, other people are drawn to you, and when other people love you and would do anything for you, there’s no better feeling in the world. Nice guys make more money too; no one wants to work with a jackass. Bernie Madoff eventually got his comeuppance.

Your kids don’t really learn right from wrong in The Bible, the Qur’an, or any other religious book. They learn it by watching you.

Whatever your religion is, I have no interest in debating its merits. In my book, if you treat people as you would like to be treated – yep, an agnostic is referencing The Golden Rule – then you’re a good person. If your religion works for you, awesome; I’m happy that you’re happy. However, fear of death is the wrong reason to buy into any faith.

As an agnostic, while I don’t dismiss the idea of a greater power of some sort, I have to assume there is no afterlife. All I know for sure is I’ve been given a life, and however long that life lasts, I have opportunities to love, be loved, and be remembered as a good guy. Even if it’s all over for me personally when I die, that is more than enough for me.

When we look at obituaries, we often focus on the dates of birth and death, because those numbers remind us of our own mortality. But instead of focusing on the scary part of Kalas’ 1936-2009, we should focus on all the incredible things he accomplished, and most of all, the lives he touched and helped create. This will probably sound corny, but I don’t care: Life isn’t perfect and it’s often unfair, but love makes it all worthwhile to me -- that, and a good obituary. Just make sure mine isn’t written by a hack.

Don’t fear death; embrace life.

And with that, I’ll leave you with some of my favorite quotes from Carlos Castaneda’s don Juan series of books.

"Think of your death now," don Juan said suddenly. "It is at arm's length. It may tap you at any moment, so really you have no time for crappy thoughts and moods. None of us have time for that."

“Acts have power. Especially when the person acting knows that those acts are his last battle. There is a strange consuming happiness in acting with the full knowledge that whatever one is doing may very well be one's last act on earth. I recommend that you reconsider your life and bring your acts into that light.

“You don't have time, my friend. That is the misfortune of human beings. None of us have sufficient time. Your acts cannot possibly have the flair, the power, the compelling force of the acts performed by a man who knows that he is fighting his last battle on earth.”

Comedy Central can suck my licorice stick

According to TVSeriesFinale.com, we've seen the last episode of Chocolate News, and as you can tell, I'm pissed.

Unless Comedy Central is slashing its budget, the move makes little sense given the show's respectable ratings. The 2.2 million that watched the premiere surpassed the brilliant Colbert Report's debut by about a million. Why Comedy Central would cancel Chocolate News after a mere 10 episodes is beyond me. What was it expecting? Instant smash hits like South Park and Chappelle's Show are few and far between.

David Alan Grier's over-the-top, in-your-face style isn't for everyone. Occasionally, I find it a bit overbearing as well. Admittedly, I didn't think Chocolate News was as good as Chappelle's Show, the show it's most often compared to, but there was enough goodness there to warrant a spot on my coveted DVR schedule. Sure, there was a healthy amount of sophomoric humor, but there was plenty of intelligent satire as well.

Who knows what Chocolate News could have become if given a chance? I'll never understand why TV people think spending lots of time, money, and effort developing a show and then canceling it after six or 10 episodes is a good business model. Seinfeld struggled in the ratings initially, but someone at NBC decided the show was funny and deserved the benefit of the doubt. What if NBC canceled it after 10 episodes? It would have cost itself enormous amounts of money and forever changed the course of comedy history.

DAG is one of the most under-appreciated talents of the past 20 years, and the saddest part is it appeared he finally found a forum to best showcase his considerable abilities. He can do just about any voice imaginable, he has done stand-up, he can sing and dance a little bit, and unlike many comedians, I found him equally if not more funny off-the-cuff than scripted.

I'm not saying Chocolate News was going to be as influential as Seinfeld, but in a crowded TV landscape where, not one, but two guys who were in celebrity sex tapes (Bret Michaels and Ray J) have their own reality dating shows, there should be plenty of room for Chocolate News. Unfortunately, I'm afraid the show's cancellation is yet another sad commentary on how dumb most of our popular culture is becoming.

PARKS AND RECREATION off to a solid start

Pilots are always tricky: You get 22 minutes to introduce the main characters, premise, and squeeze in enough laughs to keep the audience coming back for more. To me, Parks and Rec's pilot succeeded on all three levels.

But before I start praising the show, let me get my one concern out of the way. While The Office is one of my favorite shows ever, Parks and Rec might be too similar. The tone is nearly identical, and it's shot and presented in the exact same mockumentary style. It's inevitable, and also slightly unfair, that Parks and Rec, with one episode in the books, will be compared to a highly popular show in its fifth season. I hope Parks and Rec is given a fair chance and not overly burdened by the comparisons. Great shows rarely hit their peak immediately.

Having said that, Parks and Rec will ultimately resonate with viewers if the characters are as hilariously quirky, varied, and likable as those on The Office. (See, I told ya the comparisons were inevitable.) So far, so good. Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) is a naive do-gooder who, like The Office's Michael Scott (Steve Carell), thinks her job makes her a much bigger deal than she actually is. Poehler nails the character in the pilot, and it will be interesting to see how she develops one character over time instead of playing multiple roles on Saturday Night Live.

The rest of the cast had a promising start too. Scrubs fans will recognize Aziz Ansari from his brief stint as the charismatic, lazy intern who drew Dr. Cox's ire and ultimately couldn't make it as a doctor. Ansari plays a similar character in Parks and Rec, and his carefree attitude and blatant come-on to Ann Perkins (Rashida Jones) during a committee meeting is an effective contrast to Leslie's more serious approach. Leslie's Bobby Knight-worshipping boss (Nick Offerman) and Ann's temporarily disabled boyfriend (Chris Pratt) also made me chuckle.

Along with giving me some good laughs, the pilot set up the season's primary arc, gave us a peek at each character's world, and teased possible romantic intrigue between Leslie and Mark Brendanawicz (Paul Schneider); no small feat in 22 minutes.

Another big plus in Parks and Rec's favor: Greg Daniels. He and Michael Schur created the show, and Daniels has about as impressive of a comedic resume as anyone. Along with being one of The Office's creators and head writers, Daniels co-created King of the Hill with Mike Judge, co-wrote "The Parking Space" episode of Seinfeld with Larry David, was a writer on Saturday Night Live from 1987 to 1990, and got writing credits on some of the greatest Simpsons episodes ever, including "Homer Badman" and "22 Short Films About Springfield".

While it's far too early to proclaim Parks and Rec a hit, the pilot was certainly auspicious enough to give it a shot. If you missed the pilot, check out NBC.com or tune in next Thursday night for episode No. 2.

Western Kentucky is complaining about the wrong time-out situation

At the end of Gonzaga's 83-81 victory tonight, Western Kentucky coach Ken McDonald was upset that the officials didn't see him call time out with 0.9 second left, and rightfully so. Regardless, the Hilltoppers would have needed a Laettner-esque miracle to win at that point.

They would have been a lot better off using that time out after Steffphon Pettigrew's beautiful tip-in tied it with 7.2 seconds left. That would have allowed WKU to calm down, set its defense, and insert its best defenders. Instead, Gonzaga wisely inbounded quickly and pushed. WKU's Orlando Mendez-Valdez played an outstanding game, scoring 25 and hitting 7-of-10 from 3, but he and the rest of the Hilltoppers played terrible defense on the last play. Mendez-Valdez was guarding Demetri Goodson on the winning play...at least until he inexplicably let Goodson drive unmolested from about 20 feet with no help defenders in sight. That has to be miscommunication, something the Hilltoppers could have prevented with a time out before Gonzaga inbounded.

Great shot by Goodson and a tremendously exciting final 10 seconds, but McDonald needs to look in the mirror before he starts berating the officials tonight.

Do I really have Mizzou going to the Final Four?

By golly, it appears I do. Does this make me the biggest homer in basketball history? Quite possibly, but normally, I'm realistic about Mizzou's chances in the tournament. Of course, Mizzou hasn't made an NCAA appearance since 2003, so maybe I'm irrationally exuberant. Only one way to find out...

First-Round Upsets

Texas A&M over BYU, Utah State over Marquette, Maryland over Cal, Portland State over Xavier, Western Kentucky over Illinois, and Temple over Arizona State.

I didn't pick anything terribly shocking in the first other than Portland State. ESPN Insider's Peter Keating created an interesting statistical model analyzing which high seeds are vulnerable to a big upset and which low seeds could pull it off. Xavier, because it relies heavily on free throws and has a poor turnovers-versus-turnovers-forced ratio, is "as good an upset pick as you'll find in the first round." Good enough for me.

Keating also thinks Kansas is vulnerable against North Dakota State, making it his "best bet" in the Midwest. As much as I'd love to see that happen, I can't go that far.

Also, since everyone and Dickie V's mother is taking Arizona over Utah and VCU over UCLA, I'm going against the grain. I think people are getting a little too excited about VCU in particular; the Duke upset from two years ago is still fresh in everyone's mind. But let's not go nuts. VCU's Eric Maynor will play in the NBA, but so will at least two guys in UCLA's starting five. Also, Keating's model says UCLA has a 0% chance of being upset. Since he started it in 2004, no 0% team has lost in the first round.

Sweet Sixteen

Louisville, Wake Forest, West Virginia, Michigan State, Connecticut, Purdue, Missouri, Memphis, Pittsburgh, Florida State, UCLA, Duke, North Carolina, Gonzaga, Temple, and Oklahoma.

West Virginia impressed in the Big East tournament, and Kansas looked terrible in its last two games after killing Missouri at home.

I doubt many have Temple over Syracuse, but I needed to take a chance. I love Syracuse's Jonny Flynn, and Eric Devendorf ain't too shabby either, despite being the most hated college player since J.J. Redick. However, Syracuse was only 1-5 against the Big East's top five, and it looks ripe for an upset according to Keating's system. Syracuse relies heavily on free throws, and it turns the ball over a lot without forcing many in its 2-3 zone. Plus, Temple is playing its best ball now.

Elite Eight

Louisville, Michigan State, Purdue, Mizzou, Pitt, Duke, Gonzaga, and Oklahoma.

Purdue takes down UConn. Ever since DeJuan Blair used an arm-bar takedown on Hasheem Thabeet, I've been questioning UConn's toughness. Purdue has a healthy Robbie Hummel and plays excellent defense. Purdue center JaJuan Johnson is big enough and athletic enough to neutralize Thabeet. He can also draw Thabeet away from the bucket if he's hitting from the outside.

A potential Mizzou-Memphis game could be an epic track meet. Memphis has a little more talent, but the teams are eerily similar. Both play up-tempo on both ends of the floor, and their forwards can play on the perimeter. Thus, Memphis doesn't have the size to exploit Mizzou's lack of size, and vice versa. Missouri appears to have more depth, and Mike Anderson proved at UAB that he can beat John Calipari. So, I'll give my Tigers the benefit of the doubt.

North Carolina flames out against Gonzaga. There's almost no chance Ty Lawson will be the same player in the tournament. Turf toe is not something that heals quickly, and if it's debilitating to running backs, it has to be equally bad for someone who relies on his quickness as much as Lawson. The talent gap between UNC and Gonzaga isn't as big as you might think.

Final Four

Louisville, Missouri, Pitt, and Oklahoma.

Yep, all Big East and Big 12. Honestly, I thought the ACC was better than the Big 12 overall this year, and I was tempted to take Duke over Pitt. However, I think Pitt can overpower Duke.

Missouri beats Purdue in a rematch of last season's 73-63 Missouri win in Columbia. I'm sure Purdue has improved since last season, but Missouri is drastically better than last season. Plus, Mizzou Arena wasn't the home-court advantage it became at the end of this season, with just 7,600 in the stands last year. I had no intentions of putting Mizzou in its first Final Four, but if it's going to play Purdue in the Elite Eight, let's roll the dice.

I think Blake Griffin is clearly the best player in the country, and I always have the best player's team going far. (That strategy screwed me two years ago when I had Kevin Durant's Longhorns going all the way, only to lose in the second round.)

Championship

I hate to agree with conventional wisdom, but the Big East has been by far the best conference. So, I'll take Pitt over Louisville to win the title. Pitt, along with having ample talent, is the kind of team that intimidates you as soon as it steps on the floor. If Blair possibly getting in foul trouble is the best reason to pick against Pitt, I feel pretty good. Any team is in trouble when its best player is on the bench.

Louisville ends Missouri's remarkable season. Since Louisville is capable of playing just about any style, I think it will handle Mizzou's pressure well. Despite the loss, Mike Anderson signs a massive contract extension, giving the metaphorical middle finger to the SEC after multiple teams had a chance to pursue him at UAB. Missouri wisely gave Anderson an opportunity, and I think it's a no-brainer that he'll stay if Mizzou shows him the money. There’s no reason to start another rebuilding project, unless he desperately wants to live in Alabama again.

Adam Carolla's podcast a wake-up call for big media

In late February, with practically no warning, CBS cancelled the smartest and funniest show on radio, The Adam Carolla Show. While the show was a ratings hit and had a cult-like following, CBS, amid tough economic times, cut its entire talk lineup on Los Angeles' KLSX. Instead, KLSX will broadcast the significantly cheaper alternative of top-40 music. (The show was also nationally syndicated and available via podcasts.)

Carolla's fans, myself included, were blindsided, but to Carolla's credit, he showed no bitterness during the show's final hours and said CBS merely made a "business decision." However, if the popularity of Carolla's new podcast is any indication, it was a poor one. Carolla's last radio show aired Friday, Feb. 20, and the audience was told the show was being cancelled the previous day. During those last two days, Carolla announced he would record his first podcast on AdamCarolla.com a little more than 48 hours after the show went dark. Because Carolla is under contract with CBS through 2009, the podcast is sponsor-free and free of charge to avoid breaching his contract. Despite his fans' relatively short notice, the first podcast was downloaded more than 200,000 times. The response exceeded Carolla's wildest expectations, and his podcast is now No. 1 on iTunes.

CBS might save money by getting rid of The Adam Carolla Show, but isn't it flushing money down the toilet by paying one of its greatest assets to stay home? If hundreds of thousands are downloading his podcasts daily, and he's getting high-quality guests like David Alan Grier, why wouldn't CBS capitalize on that? Advertisers are still figuring out the most effective means of advertising on podcasts, but surely there is a profitable way. Carolla guessed he'll spend about $3,000 a month producing the show, which is chump change relative to his audience's size.

If CBS makes a bunch of money playing top-40 hits during the next few years, wonderful. However, if it doesn't create any original content or develop talent in the future, it will become increasingly irrelevant. There are a million free ways to listen to pop music, including Pandora.com, the praises of which I recently sang. Every year, media is becoming more of a niche business, and few have a more loyal following than Carolla.

Instead of cutting costs that will merely help its short-term bottom line, CBS should focus on the changing radio landscape and how it will adapt. Being one of a many outlets for top-40 music will render it indistinguishable from the rest. While Carolla rose to prominence through radio and television (e.g. Loveline and The Man Show), he's clearly popular enough and technology has advanced enough that he can run his own show profitably.

This reality is a valuable bargaining chip for popular radio talent like Carolla, Howard Stern, and Rush Limbaugh. Big radio gave them a forum, but those three men are now bigger than radio. Independent podcasting also gives the host full creative control: The shows can be any length, no one is telling you what to talk about or what guests to book, and best of all, the FCC's rules don't fucking apply to podcasting.

Here's something for CBS to consider: Instead of doing away with talk entirely, why not focus on finding the next Carolla, Stern, or Limbaugh? Eventually, CBS could be like Triple-A Radio, where young talent goes to develop before advancing to The Majors (podcasting) on their own. CBS could sign promising talent to modest contracts, giving it a low risk-high reward business model.

Regardless, any media company is only as good as its content. And in my opinion, CBS made a foolish choice cutting a unique asset (Carolla) in favor of distributing something incredibly generic that is already available in numerous other media (top-40). Terrestrial radio is dying, and its lack of foresight and disregard for unique talent and programming are the two biggest reasons why.

LIVE 81st Academy Awards Rant

The Oscars is in desperate need of the straight-male perspective, so I'll take one for the team.

Barbara Walters Special

Yes, the Jonas Brothers performed with Stevie Wonder at The Grammys, but they forgot the words to “Superstitious.” (To be fair, I don't know the words either, and it’s one of my favorites.) At least they write music and play instruments.

Babs asks about the purity rings; I wonder if she is thinking, “I hope they didn't read about my affair with Sen. Edward Brooke.” Wait, one of these guys is 21? And he is wearing a purity ring? I'm officially questioning his purity.

By the way, Anne Hathaway was excellent on Saturday Night Live.

Anne is my age and single. Hmmm. Honestly, I’ve seen her look much hotter. Tragic.

Notice Anne says “hard drugs” would complicate things; I’m guessing she dabbles with reefer. (Aren't I great at putting words in people's mouths?)

Nice of Mickey Rourke to put his hand inside his waistband to start the interview.

Riveting interview with Rourke. He was by far the most interesting subject.

Red Carpet

Somehow, I doubt “Who designed your shoes?” would have been my first question for Kate Winslet.

Josh Brolin is married to Diane Lane? Nicely done. Brolin is on quite a roll with No Country for Old Men, W, and Milk. He was also a top-notch SNL host this season. I'm a fan.

Amy Adams…or Isla Fisher? Honestly, I thought they were the same person until last week. They look so much alike, it's a little eerie. A gay man approves of Amy's dress; bullet dodged.

Taraji Henson is looking mighty fine. Saw her on Conan, and she’s likable too.

Moment of the night so far: The interviewer asks Brad and Angie nothing, merely stopping them for a quick ass-kissing. You gotta love show business.

Valentino: World-famous designer or Brazilian soccer star?

Whoa, let’s get Freida Pinto closer to the camera, please. I don’t need a Danny Boyle close-up in HD.

It would be easy to make fun of Rourke’s love for his dogs, but if he was really that lonely, I feel sympathy.

High School Musical kids? Who cares?

We need Robin Roberts back on ESPN.

Angelina is Miley Cyrus’ “favorite person ever.” Billy Ray just had an anxiety attack.

Heidi Klum is looking scrumptious as always in that Diet Coke ad. Of course, designer Wolfgang Joop said she's too heavy to walk the runway. If I were president, he'd be deported to American Samoa.

Meryl Streep’s daughter and I need to meet.

It must be off-putting for the women to have all these people commenting on what they look like, whether positive or negative. The more analysis, the more creepy.

“I have NEVER seen such gorgeous pleating.” My thoughts exactly.

Seth Rogen has dropped some pounds. I hope he hasn’t given up the green.

The Oscars

Please let this thing actually end at 10:30; I’ve got bonds to trade at 7:20 a.m.

Where’s Regis? Come on, he was the Millionaire pioneer.

Creative opening number from Jackman. I liked the cheap sets and props, which I'm guessing were an homage to the poor economy.

Are these five ladies announcing the nominees for Best Supporting Actress, or is this the latest reboot of The View?

This is my first Viola Davis experience, but there’s something about her I like.

Man, if they have a presenter give every nominee for every category a mini-speech, this show will end sometime around Arbor Day.

Penelope Cruz wins. “I want to share this with my fellow nominees.” Psyche! It's mine, bitches! Cruz said she would go way over 45 seconds, but she kept it relatively short and sweet. That’s always a classy move, in my opinion.

Milk's screenwriter wins, and he just wants to live his life, fall in love, and get married. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find the woman of your dreams some day.

The analytical nerd in me loves how they present the screenplay nominees. It’s cool to see the words come alive on film.

Uh oh, Aniston and Jolie are too close. Jen, I’ll let you have my babies, I promise. I bet Brad wouldn’t mind another crack at that. And they cut to a laughing Jolie. Well, I guess she has nothing to be mad about…or she truly is a great actress. WALL-E was the lock of the night along with Heath Ledger.

Already on my fourth Heineken, and we’ve had one major award. This could be a long night.

Here’s my fashion analysis of the night: I hate dresses that push boobs up in an unrealistic way (e.g. Sarah Jessica Parker).

Button wins for Art Direction; possibly a bad sign for Slumdog. I’m telling ya, Oscar loves the Button-type movie. I’m not predicting a Button win, but I’m not ruling it out either. Button gets another for Makeup; this is starting to feel like the year Shakespeare in Love won.

The lowering of the giant screen is always dramatic.

Good thing The Oscars are on; the three NBA games on TV weren't competitive.

Jessica Biel is one of those women who actually looks better in a tank top and jeans.

James Franco and Rogen giggling at the dramatic movies was amusing. Actually, the best part was when Rogen cracked up live while Franco struggled to pronounce the winner’s German name.

More singing and dancing for Jackman, which isn’t exactly extinguishing the flames of those gay rumors. BEYONCE! My night is complete. I suppose she’s not skinny enough for the runway either. Idiots. Oh, so that is why the High School Musical kids are here.

Hey, Cuba Gooding made my point about Downey being brave for me! Let the record show, I said it first in my previous post. Ledger’s entire family is apparently here; as if they’d invite them all if he weren’t winning. And indeed, the Oscar is posthumously Heath’s. I thought the Ledgers did a wonderful job humbly accepting the award on Heath’s behalf. It’s impossible not to feel for them, and it was cool to see them focus on the joy of his win.

Man on Wire was a good bet to take Best Documentary too. That had to be the best magic trick in Oscar history.

Yet another Button win for Visual Effects.

Hey, The Dark Knight finally wins one for Sound Editing. Will Smith flubs the intro, but he’s so damned charismatic, he makes fun of himself and still manages to look cool doing it.

Was that John Mayer with Aniston? I thought they were Splitsville.

My favorite part of The Oscars is the historical montages, including the tribute to Jerry Lewis. Also looking forward to the “In Memoria” montage, as morbid as that sounds.

Damn. I’ve never seen Alicia Keyes look better.

Remember when Queen Latifah was just a rapper? What a transformation she’s had in her career. Man, I completely forgot that Paul Newman died.

THANK GOD! A MAJOR AWARD! Best Director is up; I was out of beer hours ago. Danny Boyle (Slumdog) wins. Looks like they’re about to wrap this baby up with a lightning round of majors.

Halle Berry is 42? Holy crap. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers. Meryl Streep doesn’t look too shabby for being nearly 60 either. Winslet gets the nod. Mom has called all the winners so far. (She picked Downey but said Ledger would win.) I like that Winslet didn’t play coy and admitted she wanted to win. Good for her; she’s incredibly deserving.

By the way, where is Jack? This is the first Oscars I can remember where he wasn’t prominently seated close to the stage. The Lakers aren’t even in town.

Although I lamented the potential wasted time of every major nominee getting verbal fellatio from a presenter, I eventually warmed up to it. The nominees deserve some love, regardless if they win or not.

Sean Penn wins Best Actor, and frankly, I’m a little upset. Penn winning wasn't a shock, but I really wanted Rourke to get it. It’s not that Penn isn’t deserving, I was just a huge fan of The Wrestler, and Rourke single-handedly made a good movie great.

Slumdog wins Best Picture. I have no complaints even though it wasn’t my pick. There wasn't a single surprise all night. I want the last five hours of my life back.

Stefhon Hannah & Vaidotas Volkus: Reunited at last

The two former Missouri Tigers play for BC Siauliai, whose 9-4 record is good for 3rd in Lietuvos Krepšinio Lyga, Lithuania's premiere basketball league.

Hannah is sixth on the team in minutes, averaging 8.5 points, 4 assists, and 1.5 steals. So far, Lithuanian club-hoppers have allowed his jaw to remain intact. Volkus averages 4 points and a rebound in 11 minutes.

My Mom's Super Bowl

On second thought, The Oscars are probably a bigger deal to my mom than the Super Bowl is to me. I tried to avoid the Super Bowl pregame shows at all costs, but Mom will be locked into the Barbara Walters Special and the red-carpet show like Troy Polamalu on a receiver coming over the middle.

So, since she has seen more Oscar flicks than me, I'll temporarily get off the stage:

Best Picture: SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. SLUMDOG offered the most unique and uplifting film experience of the year for me. It's a modern-day fairy tale with plenty of edge and excitement, and a good payoff that's a big relief of the non-stop tension built throughout the film. However, I enjoyed GRAN TORINO almost as much, but it wasn't nominated.

Best Actor: MICKEY ROURKE. This is a very tough pick. I'm thoroughly impressed by Frank Langella's FROST/NIXON, but equally moved by Sean Penn in MILK. However, the more I think about what Rourke put into playing the Ram, I think I've gotta give him the nod, and this isn't based on any of the "comeback" hype he's been getting. He's simply amazing in this role. At the same time, Langella and Penn did wonderful work in once-in-a-lifetime roles and are equally deserving, but didn't face the incredible demands that Rourke conquered in becoming a totally convincing pro wrestler. [NOTE: Clint Eastwood deserved a nomination for GRAN TORINO, another wonderful and touching performance.]

Best Actress: KATE WINSLET. Full disclosure -- the only other performance I saw was Anne Hathaway in RACHEL GETTING MARRIED, and she was quite good. Although Winslet is a good bet, I am not qualified to make a good comparison of these actresses. Streep & Jolie are always good, and I've seen plenty of good work by Melissa Leo.

Best Supporting Actor: ROBERT DOWNEY JR. Of course, Heath Ledger will win and everyone will be happy, but Downey's work in TROPIC THUNDER was much more demanding. He perfected three very different characters, while Ledger gave us one very scary villain. Oscar's very sentimental, so Downey's got no chance.

Best Suppporting Actress: PENELOPE CRUZ. I confess I haven't even seen her performance, but have read a lot about it and am convinced she's deserving. Marisa Tomei was good, but not great in THE WRESTLER, and I'm not a fan of nominations for women based on "brave" (read "degrading") work. Yes, she shows guts and almost every bit of her body, but that's not enough and some of the camerawork seems gratuitous.

Best Director: DANNY BOYLE. For me, SLUMDOG was fresh, exciting, and riveting. On the other hand, I was close to nodding off during THE READER. Ron Howard did great work with FROST/NIXON, but the other directors pale in comparison to SLUMDOG.

Best Song: I really liked Bruce Springsteen's song at the end of THE WRESTLER, but it wasn't nominated. Therefore, I'm going to go with the song at the end of SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (two song were nominated from this film, but I don't know which is which).

My one disagreement: Best Picture. I liked Slumdog but not as much as The Wrestler or Gran Torino, neither of which was nominated. However, I'll go with Slumdog if forced to pick from the nominees. Slumdog seems like a sure-thing, but watch out for Benjamin Button; The Academy loves innovative movies that span a character's lifetime. Brad Pitt's nomination already shows Oscar likes the movie more than the general public considering many felt it was too long, and more importantly, Button wasn't engaging enough to carry the film.

Finally, one more thing about Downey: We've seen actresses like Tomei and Halle Berry called "brave" for essentially getting naked on film. Wasn't Downey brave for playing a black guy? In our politically correct world, if there wasn't at least a moment when he thought, "Ya know, essentially running around a Ben Stiller comedy in black face might end badly for me," then he's a much braver man than me. However, to the audience's credit, I haven't heard anyone take offense to Downey's brilliantly hilarious performance.

An old-fashioned brawl to whet your Mizzou-KU appetite

The Indiana Pacers-Detroit Pistons skirmish from a few years ago has nothing on this brouhaha. See, Captain Jack, this is how you assault a spectator. Considering this happened in 1961, I'm guessing a black Jayhawk throwing the first punch didn't do much for race relations. Yikes. If that happened in 2004, we'd still be seeing the video looped on ESPN.

Norm Stewart and Greg Church rap

Once upon a time, on a glorious day in 1987, the Missouri basketball Tigers made a rap video. And if you're a huge Mizzou fan and haven't seen this, then you've never lived.

The first rapper is Lynn Hardy, my former coach at Norm Stewart Camp. If you think the first few "performers" are bad, brace yourself for the white guys. Occasionally, I miss the 1980s. Church's mustache was something to behold.

(Apologies in advance for the poor audio quality.)

My NBA All-Star Starters Solution

I like fans having input in the NBA All-Star Game, but clearly, the current system is flawed. While the millions of Chinese fans are great for the league, some of their votes are making the problem even worse.

I'm one of the biggest Allen Iverson apologists in the world, but he probably shouldn't even make the team, much less start. Yi Jianlian, averaging 10 points on 40% shooting, finished behind only starters LeBron James and Kevin Garnett among East forwards. Thankfully, sanity prevailed in the West, with the incomparable Chris Paul beating out Tracy McGrady at the last second. T-Mac shouldn't be anywhere near the All-Star game this season, but with the throngs of Chinese fans watching Yao Ming and the Houston Rockets, his popularity gave him a shot. However, you can't blame China for Bruce Bowen, averaging 2.8 points, inexplicably finishing third among West forwards.

My solution: Let the coaches and/or players select the teams, and let the fans choose the starters after the teams are chosen. That way, the fans feel involved without ruining the integrity of the game. Some will argue that the All-Star Game is nothing but an exhibition, so why not let the fans see who they want to see? I'd argue that game means much more to the players than the fans, particularly players who don't make it every season. If you're stupidly voting for McGrady, Yi, or Bowen, chances are you've seen them play several times anyway. You'll probably have more fun seeing borderline guys like Joe Johnson, Chris Bosh, or Devin Harris, because they're excellent players and not constantly on national TV.

Not bad for a "one-trick pony"

A few days ago, I watched Oliver Stone’s Wall Street. While it’s a solid film, I was shocked that Michael Douglas received the 1988 Best Actor Oscar for playing Gordon Gekko. Don’t get me wrong, Douglas did a great job, but I could easily imagine Alec Baldwin playing Gekko equally well, if not better. On the other hand, I can’t picture anyone but Mickey Rourke playing Randy “The Ram” Robinson in The Wrestler.

It’s hard to be pathetic and charismatic simultaneously, but that’s exactly what Rourke pulls off. While The Ram is a deeply flawed person, his magnetism inside and outside of the ring is so undeniable that I couldn’t help but root for him. The Ram was the most popular wrestler of the 1980s, but for reasons that become quite obvious, he struggles economically and personally in the present day.

It should be noted that this review is written from a wrestling fan's perspective. The Wrestler perfectly captures the drama and fun of a great match, the backstage lingo, and the hardships of the business, but liking wrestling shouldn’t be a prerequisite for enjoying the film. Ultimately, The Wrestler is more of a character study than a wrestling movie.

The Ram’s CZW match – an obvious homage to ECW, Extreme Championship Wrestling – encapsulates everything that made ECW popular with its blood-thirsty fans, and yet, horribly brutal on its performers. Non-fans might scoff at the notion that a “fake” sport would rip their performers' flesh with barbwire, thumbtacks, razor blades, and staple guns, but I assure you, there is zero exaggeration in the scene. Even the fans chanting “USE HIS LEG! USE HIS LEG!” after a fan hands The Ram his prosthetic leg is something that could easily have happened in ECW.

While Rourke's performance is as good as anything I saw all year, his two main co-stars, Marisa Tomei and Evan Rachel Wood, are also excellent and integral to the film's success. Cassidy (Tomei), like The Ram, has clearly made some wrong turns in her life, but her son is her first priority. The same cannot be said about The Ram. No matter how much he wants to be a good dad, his personal issues get in the way. Cassidy tries to help The Ram with his daughter (Wood), and through his charm and obvious affinity for Cassidy, The Ram boosts Cassidy’s self-esteem in the often degrading world of stripping. Tomei and Wood both expertly convey conflicting emotions about The Ram, who can be the coolest guy in the room or the world's biggest loser within the same scene.

A film’s editor rarely gets much credit, but there was nary a wasted shot in the film. At no point did I think, “Why is this scene in the movie?” Scenes like The Ram playing an antiquated wrestling video game as himself against one of the neighborhood kids reveals multiple traits: The Ram clings to the glory days of the 1980s, he's desperate for companionship, he's broke, he's competitive, and he still connects with people when given the opportunity. Rourke is getting ample Oscar hype, but Andrew Weisblum deserves consideration for Achievement in Film Editing.

Without spoiling anything, Bruce Springsteen’s “The Wrestler” sets a perfect tone for the end of the movie. What can I say? I’m a sucker for The Boss. (See my previous post for more on Springsteen's new album.)

For any wrestling fan, The Wrestler is a must-see. And fans of great filmmaking should appreciate an intricately told story, compelling drama, some good laughs, and Oscar-worthy acting. If you see this film, there's a good chance you'll never look at wrestling or Mickey Rourke the same way again.

The Boss and NPR give us a belated Christmas present

For a limited time, you can stream Bruce Springsteen's Working on a Dream, which will be released on Jan. 27, for free at NPR.org. Listen to the full album at the top of the page, or scroll down to listen to the tracks individually.

I can't ever remember a major artist like Springsteen streaming a new album for free before it's released. This could become a trend if the album sells well. At the very least, it's an interesting experiment.

Ben Stiller, I've misjudged you

I never thought I'd say this, but Ben Stiller directed and co-wrote the funniest movie I saw in 2008, Tropic Thunder. While I've enjoyed some of Stiller's work, particularly his guest spots on Curb Your Enthusiasm, I've never found him nearly as funny as his most devout fans. However, Tropic Thunder has me rethinking where Stiller fits in the comedy pantheon.

This movie not only has tons of laughs, it’s also a lot smarter than I anticipated. Every film buff loves a movie within a movie, and Tropic Thunder delivers several meta jokes about war movies and the movie business in general that work on multiple levels. For instance, the film opens with three trailers and a commercial that are perfect spoofs of different genres and also introduce the main characters.

Of course, Stiller didn’t do it alone. Robert Downey Jr. plays a critically acclaimed white actor who is so devoted to his African-American persona that he never breaks character, even when there are no cameras around and he and his costars are in dire straits. The idea, like much of the film, is delightfully politically incorrect, but ironically, Downey does a tremendous job playing a stereotypical black character in a war movie even though Tropic Thunder is obviously portraying it as a ludicrous concept. Tom Cruise rightfully got many accolades for playing a hilariously vulgar and nearly unrecognizable character, but to me, Downey steals the show. The Academy almost never gives comedies a fair shake, but I’d argue that Downey delivers a borderline Oscar-worthy performance.

Stiller, Jack Black, Brandon T. Jackson, Matthew McConaughey and the rest of the cast all have their moments too, but Nick Nolte deserves special recognition. Amusingly, Nolte’s hardened war veteran has a similar hairstyle to his mug shot from a few years ago. His gravelly delivery of campy war lines is exemplary. After a few years of obscurity, it was nice to see Nolte hit it out of the park.

Finally, gross-out gags have become far too common in comedies, but I’ll defend Stiller’s character unwittingly playing with a decapitated head because it was so over-the-top and original. Just like Jeff Daniels unleashing his explosive diarrhea in Dumb & Dumber made any subsequent potty humor in a movie passé, Tropic Thunder reaches the pinnacle of severed-body-part humor, and no film should ever attempt that sort of joke again.

In sum, Tropic Thunder has it all: A stupendous cast, big laughs, smart writing, the ultimate gross-out joke, and it even looked fabulous, being quite possibly the most expensive comedy ever made. Trust me, if you haven't seen this film and love to laugh, rent it. Now.

BREAKING NEWS! The DAYS Salem is in Missouri

Like Springfield on The Simpsons, fans of Days of our Lives have often wondered which state Salem is in. With the male characters being Bulls, Cubs, and Bears fans, you'd naturally assume Illinois or another Great Lakes state is the answer. However, this photo says otherwise. Behind the honorable judge Karen Fitzpatrick in today's episode is obviously the Missouri state flag.

Mystery solved. Now if we could only figure out how a "small town" has multiple direct flights per day to anywhere on Earth, we'd really be onto something.

Defer every time

After this weekend's underwhelming playoff football, two things became clear. One, if you go against my picks every week, you could make a small fortune. Secondly, coaches should defer every time they win the opening coin toss.

This certainty has never been more obvious than in the Eagles-Giants game. The Eagles made a field goal to end the first half and then received the second-half kickoff, giving them two consecutive possessions. Receiving in the second half is the only way you can get two straight possessions without recovering an onside kick or something similar. Plus, the Eagles had the wind at their backs in the fourth quarter, and the wind was a major factor in that game. I'm still trying to figure out why Giants coach Tom Coughlin chooses to receive every time he wins the opening toss. I suppose you can score first and grab the always fickle momentum, but in my opinion, that's not a good enough reason.

Interestingly, video-game dorks like myself have been deferring for years. When people play Madden, they generally play 5-minute quarters or less, giving both teams about two or three possessions per half. Obviously, the lack of possessions in a standard Madden game magnifies the advantage of getting an extra possession, but it's still an advantage in real football. If you play a random, experienced Madden player online, about 95% of them will defer without fail. This Christmas, I played my 13-year-old cousin Jackson, a smart kid and a good football player, and he defers every time.

Are Madden players really smarter than Tom Coughlin? In this case, yes we are.

Divisional Round Picks

Titans -3 vs. Ravens: Went back and forth on this one all week but settled on the Titans despite center Kevin Mawae being ruled out. Kerry Collins throws deep well, which is the Baltimore defense's only weakness. John Harbaugh seems like a fine young coach, but I'll take Jeff Fisher. Joe Flacco winning a second playoff game as a rookie would be unprecedented.

Chargers +6.5 at Steelers: I'm expecting a close game. San Diego's defense makes me nervous but not as much as Ben Roethlisberger's concussion.

Giants -4 vs. Eagles: There's no question the Giants aren't quite as good without Plaxico. However, people are reading too much into the Eagles' Week 14 win in New York. The Giants' running game should be the difference.

Panthers -9.5 vs. Cardinals: Pick of the week. Apparently, the Cardinals won their Super Bowl last week, giving their coach a Gatorade bath after a first-round win. What's next? NBA teams dropping confetti after regular season wins? Oh, wait...

Season Record: 3-7 (This is starting to hurt my credibility.)

Picks of the week: 1-0! (That's more like it.)

YES, it was pretty good

Inevitably, I'm going to compare any new Jim Carrey comedy to the Ace Ventura flicks, Liar Liar, and Dumb & Dumber, my favorites of his career. While I don't think Yes Man has as many laughs per minute as those films, it's definitely worth seeing if you're a Carrey fan.

Carl (Carrey) has been in a funk since his divorce, and despite his friends' best efforts, he finds creative excuses to avoid any social gathering. But after attending what amounts to a say-yes-to-anything seminar, Carl's life is suddenly full. Naturally, this mentality provides ample opportunity for humor, though Carl isn't nearly as manic as some of Carrey's earlier characters. Other than Carl's alcohol and Red Bull binges, he is basically an extroverted, lovable smart ass after finding "yes." Carrey certainly had plenty of one-liners in my favorites too, but his delivery in Yes Man is generally much more dry than in his previous films.

Zooey Deschanel, who plays Carl's love interest, Allison, should be getting more work after this movie. She was charming, funny, beautiful, and it wasn't difficult to imagine her quirky character falling for Carl's insanity. She has a different appeal than your typical female lead, and I found it refreshing.

Ultimately, Yes Man didn't live up to my wildest expectations, but if you're looking for a tolerable date movie, this is it. Carrey has plenty of good lines, the ladies should enjoy the love story, and the overall message is uplifting.

Opening Pandora's music box

Recently, a friend introduced me to Pandora.com, and it's become one of my favorite ways to find new music.

Here's what to expect when you sign up: After a brief and free registration process, Pandora asks you to input one of your favorite bands or songs. Let's say you picked The Beatles; Pandora will then play a Beatles song, such as "Across the Universe." You've now essentially created a customized internet radio station. If you love "Across the Universe," as any rational human should, click "thumbs up." Now your new station will play the song regularly and, more importantly, seek other songs that have similar musical qualities. Some of the songs it finds will be Beatles songs but many won't.

After "Across the Universe" is finished -- you can also skip to the next song if you desire -- let's say your station plays the Doobie Brothers' "Listen to the Music." If you hate this song, click "thumbs down," and your station will never play it again. All of your thumbs up/thumbs down selections will affect what kinds songs your station seeks. If you're seeking a specific sound, add more "seeds," such as The Beatles, Doobie Brothers, Across the Universe, The Who, etc.

Just trust me on this one. Register and play around with it for a few minutes. It's remarkably simple, but I'd recommend reading Pandora's tips for optimizing your stations if you get hooked. Here's one tip of my own: If you're using Pandora primarily to find new music, you probably want to avoid clicking "thumbs up" on a bunch of songs you've already heard a million times. There's also an option that allows you to take the song off all your stations for a month, which definitely comes in handy.

Finally, you can only skip six songs per hour on one station, but there's no limit to the amount of stations you can create. You also can't rewind songs or play any song on demand, but you can pause a song. These limits allow the site to remain free.

Seriously, just give it a try. Happy listening.

(Pictured: "Pandora" by Dante Gabriel Rossetti.)

Cox on Scrubs; and I don't mean Perry Cox

In Scrubs' presumed final season, which begins with two new episodes Tuesday at 9 eastern on ABC, three unknowns remain:

1. How will the show conclude J.D.'s arc? Will he finally grow up? Will he step out of Dr. Cox's shadow? Will he and Elliott end up together...again?

2. Will we find out The Janitor's name?

3. How will Courtney Cox, who's playing Dr. Kelso's replacement, Dr. Maddox, fit in?

Regarding No. 3, since I avoid season previews because of their spoiler potential, it's impossible for me to say what her role will be and how the other characters will respond to Maddox. Clearly, adding Cox to the cast is somewhat of a publicity stunt. ABC, which has seemingly promoted the show more in the past month than NBC did in its previous seven seasons, wants to get a lot of bang for its buck. Anytime a show tries a publicity stunt, the jaded will declare the show has "jumped the shark."

However, if I were a betting man, I'd say that no matter what kind of character Maddox is, it will work. Scrubs had numerous guest stars in previous seasons, many of whom had less comedic experience than Cox, and they almost always worked. Heather Locklear, Colin Farrell, Heather Graham, and even Tara Reid had successful appearances despite their lack of comedic chops. Cox, on the other hand, was one of the stars of Friends, one of the most successful comedies of the past 20 years. Until I see otherwise, I'm assuming Cox will fit in well. Bill Lawrence and the rest of Scrubs' writers deserve the benefit of the doubt.

I'm just hoping Maddox's presence doesn't mean we've seen the last of Kelso. He got his big send off last season and is retired, but they could easily write him into an episode or two. (What has two thumbs and loves Bob Kelso? The Mayor! I thought we'd met?)

Wild Card Picks

Atlanta +1.5 at Arizona: Maybe this is the week Arizona gets rolling again, but I can't get past its horrendous finish. Matt Ryan has been solid all year, so I can't bet on him crapping the bed now.

Indy -1 at San Diego: I know Manning generally isn't as good against 3-4 defenses, but the Chargers couldn't stop the pass at all season. SD is lucky to even be here. Don't let last week's shellacking of a terrible Broncos defense sway you.

Baltimore -3 at Miami: Great match-up for the Ravens. They can be burned deep, but Pennington doesn't have the arm to exploit them. This is my pick of the week.

Minnesota +3 vs. Philly: I'm picking Minnesota if only because I can't force myself to pick every road team. Yes, it's difficult to pick Tarvaris Jackson over Donovan McNabb, but the Metrodome is one of the toughest places to play in football. Plus, Adrian Peterson is an absolute force of nature and might touch it 30 times or more. I changed my mind on this pick about 30 times.

Season record: 2-4

(See, this is why I don't actually gamble.)